Illusions
1. _X___ Do not say the word (or any derivative of the word) “end” anywhere in the paper
2. _X___ Primarily present tense narration
3. _X___ A one-word title
4. _X___ An eruption (ERUPT)
5. _X___ An ending that connects to a beginning (END/BEGIN)
6. _X___ A timeline that does not exceed three days
7. _X___ A detailed description of a “world” (WORLD)
8. _X___ An epigraph that complicates the story (EPIGRAPH)
9. _X___ A vivid description of an ideal situation (IDEAL)
10._X___ A vivid description of a terrible situation (TERRIBLE)
11._X___ A prophecy (PROPHECY)
12._X___ Three experts are characterized (EX 1-3)
* The main character, the brother, and the mom become their own experts of handling their situation. They are all experts in different ways.
13. _X___ Two failed attempts to solve the same problem (FAIL 1-2)
14. _X___ A sacrifice (SACRIFICE)
15. _X___ Three tremors (TREMOR 1-3)
16. _X___ An instance of eavesdropping (EAVESDROP)
17. _X___ A countdown (COUNT)
18. _X___ Ocean waves (OCEAN)
19. _X___ An insider (INSIDER)
20. _X___ A reference to sunrise or sunset (SUNRISE/SET)
21. _X___ At least one animal behaves strangely (ANIMAL)
* The father of the story behaves like an animal when he is angry.
22. _X___ Information is withheld (INFO)
Details
1) _5__ 5 references to lighting (LIGHT 1-5)
2) _X__ a detailed description of a voice (VOICE)
3) _5__ 5 references to body language (BODY 1-5)
4) _6__ 5 references to weather (WEATHER 1-5)
5) _5__ 5 references to a texture (TEXT 1-5)
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“You can never know what’s happening in someone else’s world”
Ocean waves. That’s where I want to be right now. Lucy thinks to herself. (OCEAN) Somewhere happy and peaceful and quiet. She imagines the waves tickling her toes and the sun slowly setting, casting a mystical glow over the ocean. (SUNSET/ LIGHT 1/ TEXT 1)
“So how have you been doing? I haven’t seen you for a few weeks.” A nondescript voice startles Lucy out of her daydream and the ocean waves from the white noise machine fade into the background. (TREMOR 1/BEGIN)
“Oh, I’ve been good, busy, but good,” Lucy replies as always. And I’ll be great as soon as I’m out of here. (INFO)
As part of the court order, Lucy is required to go to counseling, but she hates it. Why talk to someone that you don’t know that doesn’t know a single thing about your life? (INSIDER) It had been a long, painful process and all Lucy wants to do is forget the best she can. Counseling only forces her to resurface memories that she has no desire to remember, let alone talk about.
“Well, I’m glad, you look good,” responds the counselor. “I think we were really starting to get somewhere last time. Have you given any more thought to what we began discussing?”
No, there’s nothing more to say. Do I ever wish my parents would get back together? Absolutely not, who likes yelling and fighting? I mean ideally, of course I’d like my family to be together, but that’s not the way it is. (IDEAL) No kid actually wants to live in a split home, but at least we’re more happy part of the time.
“I think overall it’s better this way,” Lucy curtly responds. She’s just waiting for the minute hand to reach the 12 on the clock.
“Can you share with me a reason why that is? Are there any particular memories that have guided you to that conclusion?”
With this, Lucy’s jaw tenses and her focus shifts to the brightly colored, scratchy looking rug on the floor. (TEXT 2) The sun spills onto it from the window as if it’s trying to soften the atmosphere in the tense room. (LIGHT 2/ TEXT 3) Her mouth goes dry as she fights back tears. She doesn’t know why she’s so suddenly upset- then it hits her. A vague memory from years ago, one that she hoped to forget.
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It was a cold winter evening and the neighborhood was in shadows at the base of the mountain. (WEATHER 1/ LIGHT 3) Everything was normal to Lucy, until dad got home. He wasn’t in a good mood, but that was common lately. Mom suggested that Lucy and her brother go outside to play, but before they were out of the house, the door upstairs slammed, shaking the walls. (FAIL 1/TREMOR 2) Dad’s harsh and demeaning voice echoed down the stairs, as if he was turning into a dark animal, one with no control. (*ANIMAL/VOICE) This tone of voice always scared Lucy and made her shake with nervousness. (TREMOR 3) She knew that dad wouldn’t actually hurt mom, but that fear was always there. (TERRIBLE) Her brother nudged her out of the house. Being older than Lucy, he knew that eavesdropping on the arguments would do them no good. (EAVESDROP)
Outside the house, the cold air nipped at the sibling's little noses. (WEATHER 2) Christmas was coming soon; you could tell from the peaceful whisper of the wind through the bare trees. (WEATHER 3) In the dim light of the early evening, the Christmas tree lights were beginning to glow through the window, as if only peace and love existed. Any passer-by would never know a family was crumbling inside. Lucy and her brother went out back to a fort they had made in the woods where normally they would have fun playing. This evening though, the silence outside only made it harder to escape the tension.
“Do you think mom and dad will divorce?” Lucy asked her brother. He moved close to her and wrapped her in his arms. (PROPHECY/BODY 1)
“I don’t know, maybe,” he said. “That might not be the worst thing though.” Lucy didn’t know what to say so she kept her racing mind to herself and tried to let her strong brother comfort her. (BODY 2)
After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, mom called the kids back in for dinner. (COUNTDOWN) Although the house was much warmer than outside, it didn’t feel that way. (WEATHER 4) Lucy reentered, shoulders tense, almost as if she were walking on eggshells, anticipating another explosion at any minute. (BODY 3) Dad didn’t eat dinner with them that night. Mom’s excuse was that “he needed some time to himself.” But the kids knew that really meant that he wasn’t calmed down enough yet, the argument wasn’t over. (FAIL 2)
Dad came back downstairs when the family was putting away the dishes and instantly the anxious, dark atmosphere returned. (LIGHT 4) Suddenly, something set Dad off. What? Lucy can’t remember, but that’s how it always was. Unexpected. Irrational. Scary.
But this time it wasn't only words being thrown. His anger turned him into a beastly creature, with no resemblance of the loving dad that he sometimes could be. In his rage, he grabbed a small plastic trash can threw it across the dining room. The top flew off and came flying towards Lucy who tried in vain to dodge it. (ERUPT) In shock and tears, she ran as far away from Dad as she could get. The hit didn’t physically hurt her, but inside she broke in half.
“Grab your coats and go to the car. Now.” Mom told the kids.
“Why, where are we going?” Lucy worries. Are we leaving for good? Where will we go?
“We will be just fine.” Mom comforts her. “Just get your coat and get in the car.”
In the car Mom, Lucy, and her brother drove away from the fire that was still raging. They went onto the Parkway near their house and stopped at a pulloff. Here, the damaged hearts held one another and tried to decipher what had just occurred at home. (BODY 4) The sun had set leaving the winter bluster to steal the warmth of the car. (LIGHT 5/ WEATHER 5) They would soon have to return home, hoping the fire had died for the night.
“What’s wrong with Daddy’s brain?” asked little Lucy.
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Remembering that she was asked a question, Lucy tries to speak, but she chokes on the tears that she can’t fight back. (END) She hunches over, hoping her thick hair will hide her face. (BODY 5/ TEXT 4) Great, now the counselor’s going to think I have major issues. She thinks to herself. It was just a memory from long ago, there’s no reason to talk about it. Her childhood world had fallen apart, she’s accepted that. Now she struggles to find a way to be happy splitting her time between two homes, a decision she doesn’t agree with and has no power over. (WORLD) She knows her mom did her best to keep the family together for Lucy and her brother’s sake, it just wasn’t healthy. (SACRIFICE) Lucy’s mom finally confronted the situation, Lucy just avoids it, and her brother removes himself. (*EXPERT 1-3) Everyone has their own way of coping, but trying to talk about it only upsets Lucy. After a hard attempt to recount the memory to her counselor, the minute hand on the clock finally reaches the 12 and she is free to go.
Lucy steps outside into the fresh air and feels the cool tickle of the breeze on her tear-worn eyes. (WEATHER 6) She lets go of her memory and weight on her shoulders lightens. (TEXT 5)